My death. My killing.

The suffocation is back.

Some of you may remember the nightmare I had throughout October 2007.  In the dream I was wearing a white long dress standing in the middle of a lake with a baby in my hands.  The layers of my dress floating in water, slightly strangling the baby.
I was holding her tight. I loved her.

And then I drowned her. I could feel her little limbs struggling and the movement slowing down. Just when she stopped moving I realised she was me.  Suddenly the dead baby became so heavy she drowned me with her. The suffocation was so real I woke to it every single time.

And I had this dream again last night. The horror and the shock remains, the agony so concrete.

And guess what.

I saw the dress I wore in the dream. The dress I killed in. the same dress I died in.  It was right there on Pronovias 2010 collection.

Great to know it was after all a wedding gown. Oh Belyndia you are gonna murder yourself when you wed. ….

belated happy valentine's day

First of all I have to say thank you to my boyfriend Johnny who sent me roses and my darling Ivan who sent me Tiffany.  I was out of vase and called up both of them to stop them from sending me flowers on vday and see what happened.  Boyfriend insisted on sending roses (which I cut myself when trimming….not that I’m complaining) and best friend opted for diamond (although it was tiny….and no I’m not complaining neither). Who knows me better lol.

So. My vday. Maybe you spent the day with your cute boyfriend and you’re overwhelmed by romance. Maybe your long time crush asked you out and you had a great time. But mine was better. Cos I had my best girlfriends.  Went to Topshop again with the girls and may I say shopping is a lot more fun with your friends because no.1 you got to bring a lot more clothes into the changing room, no.2 it’s easier to take photos, no.3 everything is better with friends!

Pink ruffles top on me, Rose print body con on Shella

Lace ruffle sleeves 2in1 dress on Aegean

Look at the dress on Shella. The ribbon is so extravagant I love it

Pink cut out back dress. my fav piece. 

Topshop’s got a really nice collection this season. There’s so many pieces we tried on and like and so many I want to buy, except it’s mid February and I’m already in the red budget zone.  And regardless of that I still went to have a posh high tea with the girls. But it was very nice so totally worth it.

 Winter Garden in Landmark Hotel

By the way am thinking if I should perm my hair so had a little try out at home.

Shall I keep my hair straight or curl? 

 It’s the 4^th day of Chinese New Year. A bit late but happy New Year everyone! 

We always want more flowers….

I am talking about floral print (but then v day’s coming. More roses won’t hurt ;P). It's ridiculous how fast the weather is changing – last week I was so hyper about spring approaching and now it snows. Crazy global warming. But that doesn’t kill my crave for spring fashion. FLORAL PRINTS!!

ASOS floral print scarf, People'sMarket navy wool swing coat, White lace top from Japan, ASOS petite Kate jegging, BreadnButter red pumps, Sasa leopard print ruffles unbrella

The scarf is 100% cotton so quality is not amazing. But I love the sharp colours. Spring/Summer 2010 is all about creamy colour and floral print is like the only channel I can express the loud dramatic side of me.

can you see the butterfly on my bun?

not sure if you can see it on my hair but this is it. vintage butterfly hair claw from Barcelona

Looking at scarves I want a leopard print scarf! Animal print is kind of a winter thing but I still have a month to wear it right? Or maybe I should just stick to flowery spring…..

Hello Pandora

The movie Avatar being a smash hit makes blue everyone’s favourite colour. How blue is my life?

It's shown on my baking.

My darling friend Keith was visiting me last night and we planned to bake a honey cake. Just when I was done with the mixing Keith poured in half a bottle of blue colouring into the flour mixture. Guess what did that do.

TADA! we baked an avatar colour cake.

reminds me of the bird/dragon creatures in pandora.....

And how did it taste? Don’t be too disappointed it tasted just like any other honey cakes. Except with the blue I keep having this feeling that I’m eating chemical. It looks kinda poisonous doesn’t it.

Project F

So as I said I would I am now giving a little update for my Project F, aka How to lose a stone in 5 weeks.

As on the morning of 6^th February 2010

Weight: 54.6kg

Fat %: 28.9

Days left: 35days

Weights lost: NIL

Yesterday is supposed to be the official starting day of my dieting/exercising but then I had a minor hangover and ooosp I did nothing helpful to Project F.  oh well. By saying 5 weeks I’m giving myself a deadline on 13^th March,  and have to lose a stone/6.35kgs/14bls by then. What if I fail? I don’t know. Can you think of a punishment for me? But then if I meet my target I’m going to treat you all my dear girl a nice dinner. Deal?

it’s what on your head that matters

Got a parcel from my very loyal friend ASOS:D 

there is this flowery scarf that I am very happy that I bought. Will wear it soon and make a post featuring it ;) Next to the scarf my second favourite piece is a black silk with crystal hair band. I was just saying how much I want a hair band yesterday and now here it is! Just add a few feathers on it and I am Odile :D

Blakegodbold hair band, ordered from ASOS

When I was trying it on my adorable flatmate Eunice showed up in my room with a hat on. And guess what we did.

We put on full make up and walked around the flat with our hats. AND cleaned up the flat (By cleaning I mean properly mopping the floor and all). 

black wool hat from Topshop (on me), bowler hat from Japan (on Eunice)

LOVE Eunice’s hat – look at those flower details! Girly and super nice. I love hats but hardly wear them (actually I only started wearing hats last summer when cowboy hat and bowler hat became a smasher in Asia). Hate it when you have to take off your hat and you hair is left a mess. Guess I better stick with hair bands :P

Btw not really fashion related but it’s 01:43 now and I am supposed to work on my tutorial work. Except I can’t keep my hands off the latest Vogue. The illustration of the March issue is soooooo nice! Robin Derrick is so talented – almost as good as Grace Coddington (but Grace is legendary of course). Makes me want to see the American edition now! 

my physical and mental food that keeps me awake

Right I really should go back to my reading or bed now. Night night people x